The ‘C’ Word

I have crossed a divide.

I have entered into to a state of being which no one wants.

“There for but the grace of God” no longer applies because now  it does apply to me.

I have Cancer!

These are words no one wants to hear.

Cancer has connotations, expectations.

It is no minor injury I suffer. No quick fix. No immediate solution.

It’s not like I can rest up for three weeks and get back to normal.

There is a legacy!

Unlike anything I have ever faced this is with me until the end …… and I  don’t want it!

The end will in all good expectation still be many many years off.

My cancer isn’t terminal in that sense.

There is no deadline yet!

The battle continues daily but it is a fight to the death I will wage.

There will be respite, but it will never let me go!

Hurdles to be overcome.

Pills popped.

Blood spilt.

I don’t want to be here.

I want to be on the other side looking on.

Sad for the other.

Saying words of comfort not receiving.

But I am the victim. The one in the middle.

My bones ache!

There is no escape.

I have no choice

I have Cancer!