Wide Awake

It’s just before 4am as I write this. The middle of yet another sleepless night. I have seen each hour of the night so far and it’s been like this for days now.

The sleeping tablets (Amitriptyline) had limited effect and I have stopped taking them. Basically they made me drowsy but did not result in any meaningful sleep – as soon as I needed the toilet, I would be awake for the remainder of the night.

I have tried so many different ways to sleep.,

  • Using a fan to create white noise
  • Running an app on my phone to create ambients sounds (wind, rain, waves)
  • Playing UCB radio quietly in the background.
  • Running through a playlist of Christmas songs (it is Advent after all!)

The most successful have been the last two – I figured that I often fall asleep in front of the TV in the day, this might repeat at night. However, it only seems to work in the early morning from about 6am.

I have had to sign off from work for now. It is not safe for me to drive as I potentially could fall asleep at the wheel. As a teacher I need to be in full control of my faculties and at the moment my sleeplessness make that difficult.

I can rest in the day and although I don’t sleep at night I am at least resting then. I do get the odd daytime catnap here and there.

All this is down to my faulty kidney, it seems that insomnia is somehow linked to end stage kidney disease, although there has been little research. It may be linked to blood pressure or a lack of melatonin , a disturbance in the usual circadian rhythms of the body, the movement of fluid from the legs to the neck causing constriction which affects sleep.

My issues seem to be a combination of itching, extreme thirst ( leading to a very dry mouth) and the need to go to the toilet at night.

It’s difficult to work out which is responsible for which ie is the sleeplessness a cause or a result of the symptoms.

All I know is that I want to sleep.

5 thoughts on “Wide Awake

Comments are closed.